Writing an obituary for your mother

There may be no harder thing to write. You're trying to fit a lifetime — and everything she meant to you — into a few paragraphs. You don't have to capture all of it. You only have to capture enough that the people who knew her nod and think, yes, that was her.

Start with what made her "Mom"

Before you write anything formal, jot down quickly: what she always said, what she always cooked, where she was happiest, what she did that nobody else did. One or two of these will become the heart of the obituary.

What to include

• Her full name, including maiden name (often written as Mary Smith Jones or Mary (Smith) Jones)
• Birth and death dates and places
• Her work, whether at a job or raising a family — both deserve to be named
• Her faith, community, or causes she cared about
• Her family: husband, children, grandchildren, siblings
• Service details and donation wishes

Tone

Many families now choose a warm, celebratory tone rather than a formal one. If she was funny, it's okay for her obituary to be a little funny too.

Example

Fictional example.